HPV
HPV stands for human papillomavirus. It is a very widely spread virus, mostly transmitted trough sexual actions. Nearly every human will be infected by HPV at some point in their life. 90% of these infections cause no symptoms and resolve spontaneously. But some of these infections develop further. They can result in genital warts or cause cancer. Although it is most common to connect the topic of HPV solely to cervix cancer, I think it is so important to point out also the other forms of cell change it can cause. Besides cervix cancer it can also increase the risk of penis, anus, mouth or throat cancer. Every person with or without a cervix can be affected by HPV in one way or another or transmit it unknowingly. I had to learn it the hard way.
uterus with hpv virus
(this is an artistic depiction of an hpv virus in the uterus)
I remember it quite well, when I got a call of my gynaecologist. She sounded concerned. Although I didn’t get any of what she said over the phone I could instantly tell something was off. I was working that day, so I got one of my colleagues to fill in for me while I rushed to my doctor, the head full of questions. My gynaecologist is the kindest person and with her friendly smile and soft voice she threw me into this with no caution. She told me I had PAP IV and that PAP V means cancer. She told me I had to do another HPV test immediately, so I went to outpatient clinic right after I left the doctors office. I was feeling numb and disturbed at the same time. I didn’t know, what was about to happen next. It felt like someone just told me, that I was standing on the edge of a cliff and I would fall, when taking one other single step.
But what I didn’t know, yet wish, someone would have told me right there in the beginning, was: Cancer won’t grow over night, at this point all of this would have been going on for a while and there will be still time to figure it all out. PAP IV is serious and you shouldn’t hesitate to set the next steps, but it is ok to take a deep breath and remain calm. You’ll have the time to talk to friends, tell your story, to listen to the experiences and develop a gut feeling for this diagnosis. If you can, get a second opinion from another doctor/expert, before you’ll decide the next steps. I soon got an appointment in the hospital, and in the meantime I had the most important talk with a friend. She also has had the same diagnosis and she managed to stop the cellular change simply by radically changing some things in her life. She compared the growth of the dysplasia with the growth of fingernails or hair, which are relatively fast growing cells. And you won’t double the length of you hair over night for instance. That thought calmed me down a lot. And I think, being surrounded by people – whether doctors or friends – that help you to lighten the mood and regain some hope and trust is so fundamental for the whole process.
When you have a positive PAP test, there will be different suggestions of treatment, depending on the level of the virus. By the way: HPV or not, there is a vaccine and it is highly recommended to get it, no matter what. In my case the doctors recommended a canonization, which basically means to take out the effected tissue in a small procedure. They don’t take out much, so a future pregnancy, as they told me, would barely be affected, even with a slightly shorter cervix. I wanted to get it out, so I immediately agreed to surgery.
The night in the hospital after the canonization I couldn’t really sleep. I was still in such disbelief, that something like this could turn everything upside down so quickly. In the pandemic I skipped my yearly cancer smear at the gynaecologist and so abruptly I found myself confronted with this frightening topic. In that night I decided to talk about it openly. I wanted to post and share my story, I felt the need to warn others. They shouldn’t make the same stupid mistake to underestimate these routine examinations. So right then in the hospital bed I wrote about it and I didn’t expect the responses I got. So many experienced a similar story. I got messages about fear, shame and even guilt after the diagnosis. It was heartbreaking. Some of the people weren’t only confronted with their medical condition but were left alone to deal with it. I’m happy about all the talks that followed, every one was so confirming that it was just the right thing to talk about it openly.
It is so important to remind about the vaccine and the regular cancer check-ups. And for those, who are or were diagnosed with PAP: no one should be left alone with something like this to handle. HPV is no joke. And by talking about it, hopefully its social stigma eventually will vanish one day.
- Bernadette Vigl, (30, Vienna)
